It’s no secret that life can be stressful, overwhelming and feel downright unmanageable at times. The question is, how do we navigate this journey and still manage some semblance of sanity? In the past, my answers included excessive drinking, binge eating, explosive anger, and promiscuity. While all of these things brought a bit of relief in the moment, the long-term result always added to the stress. And so the cycle goes. But what are we to do?
Recently, I hit one of those places that had me feeling off-balance. Adding to it was a busy schedule and sleep deprivation. I sat at work, painfully aware of the knot in my stomach and wishing for relief. I was desperately trying to practice being in the moment, choosing gratitude and being kind—none of which really come naturally to me. My phone rang and, as I answered it, I saw the bright yellow card hanging next to it. It’s a checklist to use in case of a bomb threat. Feeling like a bomb was about to go off inside of me, I perused the questions to see if they could be of any use. And they were! When is the bomb going to explode? Well, I’m not quite sure, but it’s ticking. It could be any time now.
Where is it right now? It’s a knot in my stomach, tightness in my shoulders and it’s morphing into a migraine headache of epic proportions.
What does it look like? I don’t really want to look at it, but it’s black and red and twisted. Really, just a hot mess!
What kind of bomb is it? To answer this particular question, I referred to my LOATHING Checklist: Lonely, Overwhelmed, Angry, Tired, Hungry, Insecure, Needy or Grieving. Check!
And my favorite question of all:
What will cause it to explode? Well, at this point, just about anything! A slow computer, an odd look on my husband’s face, no ketchup… it’s a crapshoot! Just about anything could detonate it.
And for those of you who are wondering, “Did it go off?” Why, yes it did—in the form of a rambling tantrum and a subsequent ugly cry! However, collateral damage was limited, because the blast was contained within the sheltered presence of a gracious, compassionate friend.